Coach Mac might be the only person on Earth who doesn’t think the Dolphins defense will suck with Coach P at the helm.

What is Parcells thinking?

Not enough evidence available? At least they’ll be able to stop the option run up the middle!

I am laughing at the NY Post report this morning that Keith Hernandez and Jose Reyes nearly came to blows on the team charter while flying to St. Louis.

During Sunday’s game against the Yankees, Keith insinuated that Reyes tried to show up Carlos Delgado by throwing his glove after a throwing error… and that the Mets baby Reyes, which is what leads to his sometimes immature behavior.

Of course, la familia de Reyes immediately began texting and calling Jose to tell him how great he is and how evil Mex is.

And therein lies the problem. Keith is 100% right. Jose is bordering on a Manny-level personality with a LOT of prima donna traits. Until last week, he wouldn’t run out anything if it didn’t have a chance to be a triple. He still has at least one brainfart a game in the field, and as Keith and Gary pointed out Wednesday, never looks like he’s ready to field when a pitch is thrown.

I realize its not unreasonable for Jose to assume Keith and Gary should be kissing his ass, much the way John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman do for the Yankees. But part of why they (along with Ronnie) are so popular is because, for the most part, they call it like they see it. And really, this wasn’t that bad. When Keith accused the team of having no heart a few years ago, that was bad. This was more a casual observation in the course of a game. In fact, I watched said game and can’t even remember him saying it.

Plus, it’s a battle Jose cannot win. Keith is probably the second most beloved figure in franchise history (behind Seaver) and could likely get away with calling Omar Minaya a piece of shit on the air (I’d actually like to see that). Bottom line is, he’s absolutely right. No one ever gets in Reyes’ face for not hustling or making mental mistakes. I paid top dollar for tickets to see a good team this year, and all I’ve seen is bitching, moaning, and crappy play. I’m glad Keith did what he did.

The greedy NBA (the NBA you don’t get to see when your team is winning championships) reared its ugly head tonight in Seattle.

Yes, the Sonics are gone.

How the league can view going from the 14th largest market (and one of the fastest growing cities in America) to the 45th (in a slumping economy no less) as a positive move is completely beyond my comprehension as a rational human being.

How Seattle leaders let it come to this is equally confusing. What did Starbucks chief Howard Schultz think was going to happen when he sold the team to a guy from Oklahoma City?!

At least Seattle gets to keep its name, colors, and history. So why then is Clay Bennett taking the trophies with him?

And even if KeyArena receives a $300 million upgrade (for an arena that was built when I was in middle school… I remember when it was NEW), what team is going there? The NBA isn’t going to expand. Is Memphis going to move again? Will the Clippers give up on the riches of L.A. for the land of Starbucks? I don’t think so.

I realize the crowds in OKC were rabid for the Hornets when they were there, but it was new. Every new team (except for the boring Bobcats) drew well out of the gate. Without a winner on the floor, the support will die out in OKC too, and a market that size can’t make up the difference in “extra perks” the way a New York, Boston, or Los Angeles could.

Just a bad decision all the way around. Shame on you, Commish… and shame on you Seattle. There’s plenty of blame to go around.

The Shaun Suisham 110-yard kick (seen here)is not real.

Clever marketing gimmick though.

July 12 vs. Rockies 3:55 pm

August 9 vs. Marlins 7:10 pm

August 23 vs. Astros 7:10 pm

Tickets are $25 apiece, $50 a pair

My seats are right over 3rd base in the lower part of the upper deck, aisle seats right next to the staircase leading to concessions, bathroom, and exit (very conveniently located) from Gate B.

Let me know via e-mail or comments!

That would be “outspoken” tennis pro Justin Gimelstob.

In a hilarious sexist rantabout female tennis players, he offers up this gem about Anna (with whom he is playing doubles with at an upcoming exhibition):

‘If she’s not crying by the time she walks off the court then I did not do my job.’

Asked if he would ever have an affair with the player-turned-model, he went on: ‘Definitely not. I have no attraction to her because she’s such a douche. I really have no interest in her … I wouldn’t mind having my younger brother, who’s a kind of a stud, nail her and then reap the benefits of that. She has a great body but her face is a five (out of ten).’

UPDATE: Gimelstob, predictably, apologized.

Big Kurtz checks in from the Dirty South with a first hand account of a night at the club with DMX.

Would not have liked to be that DJ!

But before I mock Donte Greene, we must first recognize the tough night of Kansas forward Darrell Arthur, who endured the humiliation of being the last guy in the green room (and then being traded for Donte).

New Orleans took Kansas’ Darrell Arthur with the 27th pick, but was traded to three other teams before the night finished.

His trade was all part of a busy night for the Blazers as they pulled off five draft-night trades. Arthur, who started his journey on draft night as property of the Blazers, soon found himself on the move.

A source told ESPN.com the Rockets traded Batum to the Blazers for the rights to Arthur and Joey Dorsey (No. 33 overall).

After Arthur landed with the Rockets, he was later sent to Memphis for the rights to Syracuse freshman Donte Greene, the 28th overall pick, and a future second-round pick.

Arthur’s drop from a projected late-lottery draft position may have been partially due to concerns over a blood test that showed a potential kidney issue, three front-office personnel told ESPN The Magazine’s Ric Bucher.

According to the sources, Arthur initially declined to be re-tested after the issue showed up, which raised further concerns. Earlier this week, Arthur did a re-test for the Washington Wizards and passed, according to one source.

Following his selection at No. 27, Arthur said: “My health is fine. I took another blood test & and everything came out fine. But I guess those guys never contacted anybody.”

Arthur’s mother, who looked like Mark Henry, was crying hysterically when her son was finally drafted. Derek and I were laughing hysterically when Donte was finally taken by Memphis with the 28th pick (Hakim must have made the call). We were hoping he would fall into the second round and forever live in infamy amongst Syracuse fans (unfortunately, someone in The Fours started chanting “Let’s Go Orange!” when he was drafted).

So Donte now gets to sit on the bench behind Tracy McGrady and hope he can get any minutes at all on a team that prides itself on defense, which Donte knows nothing about. Meanwhile, the Orange are restocking with the entire team back, and two impact freshmen coming aboard.

Donte gets a guaranteed mil or two out of this contract, far less than he would have gotten had he stayed in school and morphed into a top-five pick. Right decision? I think not.

The guys who exposed Stephen A. Smith’s love of cheese doodlesare back with another hilarious video from last night’s NBA Draft. The Kenny Smith and Kevin Love encounters are great.

The following took place at the Fours in Boston, Mass. at approximately 10:15 pm.

The Houston Rockets took some French guy names Nicholas Batum (pronounced Ba-tooooom) with the 25th pick. Pizza Parlor Derek immediately turned to SCZA and proclaimed:

“If this guy becomes an All-Star I will eat my own shit!”

Write that down. Batum is going to be HUGE (especially since he was later traded to Portland).

By the way, the Celtics pick at #30, J.R. Giddens (New Mexico) had better stay away from Paul Pierce.